I was just thinking about things I wrote earlier, people I’ve encountered so far, this nexion, and the private nature of those involved in this nexion, like myself. Everything just got me thinking about “stuff.” What got me thinking was a conversation I had with an associate of the Acception as we were talking about 352, ONA, and all the major personalities involved. I didn’t come to realize anything until I examined my own natural personality/character.
Like I remember when I was a little girl, maybe 6 years old. I was playing outside in the front yard. I remember going to walk along the curb of the sidewalk and as I was trying to stay balanced a ways down from my house I saw a small pile of broken glass in front of this one boys house I sometimes played with who was about my age too.
I picked up the glass which were square shaped. I figured to myself that it must have come from the window of a car, since cars usually park there, and something must have busted the window? I saw how some of them sparkled in my hand and I pretended they were diamonds. Like I found a pile of diamond.
That boy came out when he saw me squatting by the curb I guess. He ran out side to me and asked me: What’s that? I looked at him for a bit and said: Diamonds. I found them, do you wanna hold one? He did, so I let him hold one and I watched him, to see if he would say something like ~Hey liar, it’s glass… But he didn’t He said: Wow, diamonds, you’re rich!
I can’t really explain that little stir of something I felt inside when I saw that he couldn’t see that it was glass. I had this smile on my face, the kind of smile you make when you were little and you told a lie to your mom, and she believed it! I told the dumb boy: Do you want some, you can give it to your mom as a surprise, she’ll be happy? He said: Yeah! As his eyes got real big. So I asked him: Do you have a dollar? He said he didn’t have a dollar.
When I was little, my brother and I would go into our parents closet and go through our dad’s pants pocket for pocket change. So I told the dumb boy: Go into your dad’s closet and look in his pockets. I’ll wait here. He ran inside real quick. When the coast was clear I let my self go and I gave this giggle and I felt something inside. Like a feeling I was smarter than him, and he was dumb, and he believed what I told him.
The dumb boy came back with some pocket change a bit later. Back then I can only tell if a bill was a dollar if it was paper and had the number 1 on it or if there were 4 quarters. He didn’t have 4 quarters, but it didn’t matter because I didn’t even want the money; I wanted to get him in trouble.
I gave him the whole pile. I didn’t want it anyways – it was glass. I gave the glass to him and told him: Go give them to you mom and tell her you gave me money for it, she’ll be so happy! And he ran off inside like a retard into the house. I stood up and walked to my house very, very slowly… listening for voices. All I heard was his fat mom say: Those aren’t diamonds, it’s glass, that girl tricked you for your money, you ain’t playing with her no more! Then I ran home fast just in case the cow came after me for my pocket change.
I felt something bubbling inside when I was in my room after I had hauled ass inside. I couldn’t stop giggling. It wasn’t a giggling of something being funny; but a different kind of giggling. I couldn’t rationalize it back then. All I knew was that it felt good and fun to get him in trouble from a lie I told which he believed, because he was stupider than me. I never really grew out of that. Whatever it was, it just grew with me.
There are in different cultures and world religions these god archetypes that are odd balls that don’t seem to have any superpowers but causing trouble, reeking havoc, and straight up blaspheming things. Like Shiva, what a character he is. You read the myths about Shiva and they are just way out there. He kills people with his third eye, he walks in public naked with erections. He chases young girls and rapes them. This one myth even tells of a time when Shiva masturbated in a public and jizzed on the ground. And how he makes people worship him by worshiping a big Dick. It’s called a Lingam, Sri Lingam, or Linga, which all means Dick in Sanskrit. LOL! It’s so typical of a guy to want people to worship his dick too. Do you ever wonder what type of person thought up of Shiva and his cult?
Or the Greeks have this goddess named Eris, who one day got jealous of Aphrodite and she rolled a golden apple with Kallisti (the Prettiest One) into a party the gods were at and all the goddesses fought each other for it. Or the better known archetype is Loki the Trickster.
I’ve often read that god-forms like Shiva and Loki imparts wisdom and enlightenment, but I could never see how a person being tricked could find wisdom in being made a fool. Not until a later thought about my own past experiences. Like that dumb boy I sold glass to. He was stupid, I tricked him, he was allowed to go through the whole experience on his own, and in the end he did wise up to know many things. Things that we must each experience and realize on our own, rather than be told. So then in a way, there is a teaching without teaching.
Like a Zen koan in a way. A koan is basically those dumb questions a Zen master asks a new student, like: What is the sound of one hand clapping. These koans have no real answer. They are asked for a reason. The new, often young student has an immature feel or need to impress his master, and most often is not trained to use him mind to speculate, contemplate – to THINK. The young initiate will actually try hard to think of the “right” answer to tell his Master. A good Zen Master will never tell the student that there is no answer, it would defeat the purpose. At some point, the new student will REALIZE on his own, that the question was intended to teach him how to THINK for himself, and actually has no real answer. This is called Enlightenment – when we come to a private emotional realization of things.
What we believe to be thinking, is most often the same thing a computer does – dig up stored files. We read things or hear things, store them in our brain, and when exam day comes we try to recall what we had so-call “learned.” If this is thinking and being smart, then my computer is one intelligent machine!
What got me thinking about the Trickster archetype and the ONA; my own self and others who react to the ONA in a certain way. Most of us that are into the ONA take it seriously in our own way, and when someone says something negative about it we often react.
And I do admit I am very guilty of doing this. I mean the whole Blackwood episode and us for instance. I did get offended when Blackwood once said what he said, claimed what he claimed, and talked shit about me. Because I thought I knew something about the ONA, like I had the answers and I was right. Just like those critics that took what they believed to be the ONA to seriously and criticized me or whatever; because they also believed that they knew it all and had all the real answers.
I suddenly realized I was looking at the ONA in my own way from the inside. Inside a box that I was put into. And I asked myself: Hey, wait a minute, how does Long/Myatt see the ONA, he can’t take it too seriously, he’s a Muslim!?
What if this whole ONA thing is like Myatt’s way of teaching, without teaching? Like a Sinister Koan? And we just don’t get it? Do you think Myatt is giggling somewhere out there over all this? How we’re all running around trying to figure out if he is some lunatic English person Opfering people in the hills and shires somewhere… some weird nazi movement leader… a Islamic spiritual leader… What the Hell?!
It’s not that the trickster type have nothing else better to do with their lives, so they pick on dumb people for fun and games. These types have a certain kind of large intelligence and thinking process that just expresses itself that way naturally. Most often these types make the best and cleverest predators. And if we look closely, and we know our psychology well, we can see that the ONA was invented by such a mind. Not so much to take advantage of those Genuine ‘adepts’ in the ONA. But to provide a means to express that same predatorial nature. As if the ONA were a Sinister University, and those who truly graduate it end up not only refining there craft, but with a well thought out and tested system to use.
Being a Trickster and/or Predator does require a large amount of intelligence, thinking, awareness, skills like evaluation and problem solving. It requires the ability to apprehend situations, empathize with prey, know people – how they “think,” act, react, feel, believe, to deduce the best and most effective course of action. Its by no accident that Nature gives such animals a coveted position in the food chain, and the coveted large brain. It’s very simple to see the difference in the level of intelligence when you compare something like a gazelle to a cheetah or lion. You can see in the cheetah’s eyes its immense intelligence.
I was just thinking how stupid some people might be for actually believing Myatt really believes himself to be a Muslim. This assumption is coming from me – someone who thinks she knows a few ONA secrets like Insight Role. It’s easy for me to say: Pssh, yeah right, Myatt’s about as Muslim as I am, I laugh at the Muslims who read his Islamic writing and run amok for Allah and the English Imam. After all we know he’s not…?
But then I wondered if people actually laugh at me for reading Anton Long’s writings, and running amok for the ONA and taking it seriously? What if I’m “seeing” the ONA from an immature “Zen student taking a koan seriously perspective,” and not from the perspective of a Zen Master?
I don’t know Anton Long, but if he is the trickster type, then I can deduce he is having a good laugh somewhere out there at all of us trying to figure things out, because I would be too. All of us too mesmerized by his Kabuki theatrics to learn. Or worse, too “into” the ONA to figure out what it was really intended to do to us… for us? Genius! If there was one question I could ask Long it would be: How do you really see the ONA, what is it to you personally? Because I would rather see it like him, then see it the way some were intended to see it.
Chloe 352
352
