The Tao Of Satanism
I started ‘my Satanism’ off reading The Satanic Bible ((TSB)) years back. All rhetoric aside, I still find TSB to be a wonderful cornerstone work as is. Minus the Gilmorian re-interpretations… minus the liberal borrowing LaVey did… minus the fact that Diane and a publishing company that makes romance novel for fat ladies may have had more to do with the structuring of thus production of TSB… it is a great stepping stone from front to end. Great because as a Rationalist, TSB plays the safe card and keeps things rational. But I also really like the Mythos part of TSB which includes the other half of TSB… the magic, the rituals, the Enochian Keys. The one thing that stuck in my mind from TSB was the statement that “Satan” was a force in Nature.
I would still recommend any 13 year old to read The Satanic Bible, as a stepping stone to initiate a process of Self-Development in the “right” direction. Right direction meaning toward the direction of Reality, what is Real, as opposed to speculative idealism. There’s different terms for this idea of Self-Becoming. Nietzsche’s Zarathustra would say it is Surmounting Oneself to becoming the Ubermensch. In general Buddhism it would be said that we each have Buddhanature within, and that Buddha is the Uttimapuriso – the Superman – but that Buddhanature must be attained by Self-Becoming, meaning to Become ((Bhavana: Draw Out Into Existence, Call Into Being)) it by one’s own effort. In Brahmanism we call this very same concept Becoming a Siddha. Siddha means Perfection, Accomplished, Spiritual Power, Supernatural Ability, One Who Has The Power To Manifest Will. That journey of Self-Becoming must start somewhere thoe.
I quickly got bore of The Satanic Bible and found the ONA. To me, the stuff in the Satanic Bible is like high school, and the ONA is like college. It refines and polishes what you may already know, it gives you more knowledge in more detail, and then it gives you a method to translate all that knowledge into Wisdom via personal application.
But how did I see the memeplex being presented in TSB really… as a Buddhist and an Asian? This whole Satanism thing? Back when I was still emotionally immature, after reading TSB I just thought LaVey was ripping off Eastern thought. I thought so because I recognized eastern though in TSB which just looked dressed up in a devil costume.
For instance in Satanism in general you are taught or admonished to Question Everything. That idea is a Chan Buddhist concept. In Chan we are taught to Doubt Everything. My Chinese elders in my family are Chinese Chan Buddhists. You are told that the Stronger the Doubt, the Stronger the Realization ((Gnosis)). Believing what others tell you causes personal suffering in the end or at least a devaluation of oneself. In English we call it Dignity. Like a girl who is fooled by the sweet words she hears a guy say to her gives herself up easily. She losses something in the end when she realizes she has been fooled and used. But when the girl has a sense of Dignity – Self Worth – she will not give up herself so easily. The guy must work to prove his worth. That Self Worth also applies to the Mind. Do you value your Mind? Does it have any worth to you? Are you a Mindwhore who gives your mind up easily to the nearest religion that talks sweet words to you? You know you’re a mindwhore when you switch your gods and religions as often as you do your boyfriends. You’re a slut, or at least emotionally immature. Where you still think that Self-Worth comes from other people… religion… ideology… money. When that Self-Worth actually comes from inside. But we all must learn this the hard way, via our own Pathei Mathos.
Satanism sounds “Satanic” only in English. I found that out when I started asking my elders about Satanic concepts I wanted a deeper understanding of. Depending on who I was asking, sometimes the process of translation goes thru 4 entire languages, My English to my mom’s Khmer, to a granddad’s Thai or Chinese, then he digs around his Pali or whatever for answers, then the answers comes back to me in the reverse. You know somewhere between those 4 languages the outer trappings of “Satanicness” is totally lost.
It’s hard to ask such old people about things like, “Satan represents indulgences instead of abstinence” when none of the old people even know what a “Satan” is that is representing such common ideas. You have to learn how to break those statements down and restate them to get answers. Like, “Grandpa, is doing what you want better then not doing anything at all?”
But when you ask an old Buddhist monk any question, you never get a quick straight answer. They first talk your ass off, and then they end up giving you a question as the answer. I asked this question to a Thai Theravada grandpa and he asked back, “If you don’t do anything, will you know anything new? But if you do things you will get consequences. What kind of consequences do you want? What kind don’t you want?” I was 14 when I asked this same question to our late Chinese great uncle we call Grampa Wong. He speaks English but with a heavy Chinese accent and he had no teeth. He was a Chan monk and always wore a yellow robe everywhere. When he was alive he use to cuss a lot when he talks and he taught kung fu to the kids in his neighborhood and told them that fighting was good. I was on my third Heineken trying to get a real “spiritual” answer from Grampa Wong, and my mother says to the grampa, “Uncle, please stop giving her beer. She’s only 14, it’s not good for her, look she’s drunk.” He goes back, “No, not beer… Heineken!” He had a big sword and gun collection, and 3 wives, and I’d asked him what kind of monk he was if he cusses, teaches kids to fight and drink beer, and has a gun collection. He laughed his toothless laugh and just said, “Shaolin.”
Once you have personally broken down Satanism to its essential memes and translated those memes and ideas into a language-worldview system completely different from the Western variety, then you start to know or understand inside that there is an outer dressing to internal ideas, and that those internal ideas are formless. Formless as in such ideas or concepts is neither Western or Eastern, Satanic or Buddhist or Brahmanist, and so on. They only take a form in each of our minds where we dress those ideas up into our local mental lexicon and mindset. In a way it’s like hiking at night – which I do often with friends – and you hear a rustle in the bushes. What you hear is the formless essence. But in each of our minds – in an attempt to localize and understand what we heard – we dress that sound up into costumes. One might Believe the sound came from a squirrel, another might think its a coyote, another might Believe its a ghost. But then some of us may just understand that it was just a noise and leave it at that.
Sporification
I like doing this one thing where I go around asking very little children of friends and little cousins about different things and have them describe them to me. Two’s and Three year olds mostly. I asked a 3 year old son of my Mexican friends once to tell me what “God” looks like, and the little boy gave me a blank stare for a moment, but after mustering all the thought he could get, he said in his cute little three year old English, “He lives in the heaven!”
Then I asked a girl cousin of mine who is also 3, who only speaks Khmer. In Khmer there is no real word for “God.” The word we use to mean a god is “Preah,” but that word actually means a Sacred Presence/Thing. Like the common word for the moon is Preahchan, the sun is Preahsoriya, in the high register Mother is Preahmada and father is Preahpita and younger sibling is Preahanoch. Brahma is Preahproom. Buddha is Preahput. And a monk is a Preahang, which also means King or Lord. So I asked my 3 year old cousin what a “Preah” looks like. As soon as I finished my question she smiles as if she knew she had the answer and runs to a picture of one of our grampas who is a Buddhist monk and points to the picture and says, “Here!” As grownups it’s always funny to us when the very young cousins in our family sees monks getting out of their cars to walk to our door during a religious or cultural occasion and the little cousins like watches dogs run to the window, see the monks in their orange robes and yell out to inform us, “The Preah just walked out of the car! They’re coming!” It’s funny because to our grownup minds the word Preah comes to mean God or something related to a god, and Gods don’t ride in cars.
The fascinating thing is that beneath the outer audible words “God” and “Preah” is the same formless Essence. The idea of something Numinous ((Sri)), Sacred, Divine, that stirs our heart or inner being, like a beautiful painting or piece of music would. But those 2 little three year olds each expressed that Essence via their Minds thru their people or culture’s weltanschauung. That weltanschauung has taken thousands of years to form into a word-idea based apprehension of the world. When I think of a culture, or people’s “lingual-worldviews,” I picture in my mind bread mold.
The bread is the substrate the mold consumes. Consume meaning to take in bits and pieces of things that was once outside of yourself to make it a part of you. In its living state, or when mold is healthy it is flat like an amoeba. But when that mold is threatened, or when it runs out of food, it begins to initiate its self replication stage of life. What happens is the mold grows thousands of long stalks, and at the tip of each stalk is a bulb. In each bulb are spores, and each spore contains the genetic information to recreate the entire mold the bulbs came from. Which is what a Mushroom actually is. A Mushroom is actually only the reproductive organ of a huge creature or organism called Mycelium. That mushroom is the end stage of an unseen organisms life cycle. The actual organism is formless.
And so I see human culture, animal culture, religion, civilization, in the same way. The people that we see are only the reproductive organs of an Unseen creature, where each person is a spore-bulb to. Just as each bulb has spores which contains the information of the mycelium it came from, those little newly made 3 year olds also were formed with the information/weltanschauung of the people they each came from. And just like mushroom will burst to spread their spores, these children will mature to burst to spread their spores to give rise to not only new people but new sections of that Unseen organism via the dissemination of memes which are the actual spores of this meta-orgamism.
We can see this process of sporification happen beautifully as it was demonstrated by the old world United Kingdom. Great Britain grew stalks which burst. And the spores spread in the human world to germinate as things like America, Canada, Australia, and so on. Judaism grew stalks and burst, spreading its spores, which became proto-christianity, gnostic sects, the catholic church. And the Catholic church bursted and spawned the Protestants, Quakers, Puritans, Mormons, and so forth. Language bursts and spread like spores too. Some long forgotten language bursted and spawned what became Greek, Latin, and Sanskrit. Each of those grew and burst spreading its spores. Each spore carried its ancestral genetic data, which over time mutates or changes or adapts. And so we end up with all the European and Indic languages today. Folk-nations and tribes go thru the same process. Phoenicians… Etruscan… Greek… Latin… Roman… Southern Europeans. With each new cycle of the process of sporification the Unseen “mycelium” which we Humans grew from retains some old data, while accumulating new data. Just like how my little 3 year old cousin will retain a large amount of her own ancestral culture and worldviews, but at the same time because she is American, she will acquire new “genetic data” which she will pass on when she is ready to burst and spawn new stalks and bulbs.
Makes me wonder if the whole universe replicates and evolves in the same moldy way… where old suns burst and the sporific star dust coagulates into new stars, new planets… new creatures. I’ve always liked the theory of Panspermia. The idea that other living worlds burst to scatter its microbes, across space to seed watery world far away. Maybe the cosmos from time to time makes stalks with bulbs that become new universes as the old one dies?
Phenomenalist
Being a Theravadin is essentially like being a mindful “Phenomenalist” if that “word” makes any sense. It’s just a person that pays close attention to phenomena which in Buddhism is called Dhamma or Dharma. In the same way that our ancient ancestors payed close attention to movement of stars to learn to tell long stretches of time or navigate the seas. Or as how our ancient ancestors learned to pay mind to the coming and going of seasons and the ebb and flow of the tide.
To our ancestors I doubt it matters very much where stars came from or where seasons arise from. The idea was to just pay mind to the movement and patterns to make use of the wisdom gained. So it is with Buddhism in general and Phenomena. As a Theravadin it is beyond rational care to try to figure out where phenomena comes, or what things like experience, quale, consciousness, god, and spirit is or where they come from or what they are. The point is to just be mindful of natural phenomena in such a way that you are able to apply the wisdom gained for a benefit to yourself and people.
In the West and ONA we may call the mindful observance of natural phenomena Natural Philosophy, which I find to be a very misleading descriptor because as a Theravadin, I don’t see Phenomena and philosophy to be the same thing.
For instance if I observe and learn about the natural phenomenon of a river flowing down stream, and I figure out that if I build a wheel with cups in the river, the force of the waters flow would thus turn the wheel and I can use that turning for other practical purposes… which all has very little to do with philosophical speculations. Perhaps the observance of Phenomena can branch into a practical path and a theoretical path? The study of the physical world makes both a Theoretical Physics and an Applied Physics. One is more useful than the other. Black Holes are all cool I guess but learning how photons work and then making photovoltaic cells out of what you knew to me is more practical and better.
As a Theravadin you take the path that is practical. Everything in Buddhism is a part of a causal chain reaction meant to produce an end result. Sila-Samadhi-Panya. There is a reason why you observe Sila, to generate the condition of Samadhi where your mind is not influenced or misdirected by things that go on outside of it. Why do you want Samadhi? To generate the condition of Panya – Cleverness or Wisdom. If Panya is not an end goal you are interested in, then there is no need for you to follow Sila. If you are in the business of Self-Enlightenment, then don’t subject your self to excessive drinking, indulgence and worldly activities, because you will have no concentration ((samadhi)) and thus will not end up with the end goal of wisdom. It’s like college. If you want to pass your exam don’t fucking party during finals.
Incongruity
I’ve always had trouble fitting the Western idea or concept of “Satan” into my native Mindscape. A satan just does not fit or compute anywhere. Knowing that satan is a “force in nature” doesn’t help me either. What force? Gravity? Kinetic? Weak… Strong… Nuclear Force? Should I fall on my knees if one day we discover that gravity is indeed the force of Satan? Gravity Does keep us bound to the carnal world of flesh. Plus the whole idea of a god doesn’t emotionally go anywhere in my native Mindscape, because I grew inside a people and culture who don’t even have a real word or grasp of what a God or The God is. Is this Satan Brahma, Vishnu or Buddha or Mara? I understand that things like Mara are an allegorical construct and not a real entity. Brahma is a tool ((upaya)) the Buddha uses to just teach, he actually calls Brahma insane in the Tipitaka. Vishnu – and most gods we humans can invent – who has human characteristics and human appetites for such things as vengeance and sex the Buddha says are not the greatest of role models if you are trying to transcend such basal human qualities. Saying that Satan is an acausal entity still does not makes it fit in my native mindscape. I can accept the acausal part because there are counterparts to that idea in my mindscape, but the Satan doesn’t pass my mental customs agent. But I made the idea of Baphomet to fit, by associated Baphomet with a phenomenon in Nature I just call Primal Nature.
It’s like things with Christianity. It’s supposed to be a nice religion about love and peace on earth, but the God being worshiped is a murderous tyrant who orders his chosen people to slaughter every man, woman, child, and chicken in gentile villages. I guess with Jehovah it’s “Do what I say not what I do.” But if you are trying to be loving and peaceful, it makes no since to believe in a God that characteristically is the entire opposite of what you what to become.
Satan-Ism
Embedded in the mythos of the Buddha’s life from birth to his death, and in the essence of Buddhism is an ancient unnamed Essence very few Buddhists and non-Buddhists ever look deep enough to see. But when you see IT you realize that it is intimated everywhere in Buddhism. The closest Theravada ever comes to pointing at this unnamed phenomenon is found in the story of the Buddha’s early manhood when he escapes his sheltered world/life in the kingdom. As he wanders the outside world the young Buddha encounters something the Tipitaka calls the Four Adversities of Life: Sickness, Old Age, Death, and a Shramana. Only after meeting up with these 4 Adversities does the young Sakyamuni decide to forever leave his kingdom life behind to live as a homeless shramana himself.
The first three adversities make sense because sickness, old age, and death are reasonably adverse to Life. It is the fourth – a Shramana – that doesn’t fit in with the other 3. Because a Shramana isn’t an adverse aspect of Life, it is a kind of person. It’s actually a kind of wild person who has renounced Vedic city-state society, and has physically removed himself or herself from that social order to live in the forest as a feral “de-domesticated” person.
The root word is Shram, which means To Struggle. Struggle against what? Against the Adversities of Life. Basically the ideas is that you cannot truly know what Life is unless you delve totally into Life and take on every aspect of Life. The sheltered nature of a city-state which cushions you from much of natural Life, keeps you from a genuine immersion into raw Life. Religion with its ethical rule, doctrines, and limitations is a prison which cuts you off from the reality and rawness of Life. The Shramana is the person who willingly chooses to jump completely into Life and take on all that Life is without rules or limits. Starvation, cold weather, homelessness, religionlessness, sickness, sex, smoking hemp, death, murder, and all. To eventually come to a gnosis or an intimate understanding of what Life is. Basically it is via the struggle against Adversity that Gnosis/Sambodhi is actualized. Or as ONA says – What does not kill you makes you stronger.
Brahmanism felt a little threatened by this new hippy movement of people leaving their Vedic system completely behind, so to try and circumvent any big loss of followers, they invent the idea of what was called an Ashram. Which is something we should be familiar with in English, sense that world has made it into the English language. Ashram is the opposite of Shram meaning Without-Struggle, or Peace and Tranquility. The opposing original idea behind the Ashram is that you don’t need to put yourself out there and suffer like a masochist to learn about life. You can come to a peaceful and relaxing Ashram where a Guru lives to learn about the Vedas from, which is “real” wisdom. Like me telling somebody, “Don’t experience Life, come to church instead. The Bible has all the answers you need.”
The shramanas who invented proto-buddhism in the early days were sneaky enough to even pick the Adversarial archetype as their mascot – Shiva/Rudra. Not only is Shiva’s color Orange, and that his followers in those times – like their Greek Dionysian cousins – wear orange robes; but Shiva is also known as Mahayogi or the Lord of Yoga/Meditation and one of his epithets was Buddha, The Enlightened. There was little statuettes of Shivaya found in a cave where he is seated in a lotus position, wearing a robe, with knotted or dreaded hair, which dates well before the time of Buddha’s supposed life. Orange is not a color in the Vedic Caste system. The Sanskrit word Varna, which becomes the word Caste in English actually means “Color,” not Rank or Class.
The Brahmin Varna is White for purity and Light. The Kshatriyas ((warriors)) is Red for the blood they spill. The Vaisyas ((laborers, farmers)) is Brown for the ground and dirt they till. The Shudra color is Black, for the color of their skin. The untouchables are so worthless a race of animals they have no color, meaning they aren’t even in the Varna/Caste system to even be considered Human. The color Orange originally had absolutely nothing to do with this Vedic system. It wasn’t until after the transition period where Brahmanism morphed into “Hinduism” that Orange was worn by their intellectuals and priestly class. And the very first branch of “Hinduism” to take shape was Shaivism; which was their attempt at annexing a rogue sect ((primal “Shaivism”)) into the larger Vedic system. Like how the Catholic religion makes saints out of indigenous gods and heroes.
Primal “Shaivism” as in the indigenous tradition of the indigenous inhabitants of the subcontinent – the Dravidians and Mon-Khmer. In the early days the Mon-Khmer venerated primal nature under the name “An/Ang.” Pronounced “En” or “Ong.” Today in modern Khmer who migrated to Southeast Asian that name still exists in the word PreahEn which means something like the Supreme Being. The Khmer word for a rainbow is an En-Tanu or En-Dhanu which literally means the Bow ((and arrow)) of An/En. An/Ang also as in Ankara which is what you call the “OM” syllable, pronounced Ong-Kara; kara meaning Sound or Syllable. An as in the word Ankar meaning One and God. Today the Sikhs symbolize their God by naming it Onkar which is the same thing as Ankar. Interestingly the Khmer Rouge taught their party followers that they were making a utopian civilization in honour of their party’s supreme being which they called the Ankar, the One God, and that working for the party was worshiping Ankar, said as “Ong-Kah.”
Then of course symbolically if primal nature is to be self replicative, Ankar needs a female counterpart. If An is the Ankara or the OM Sound, then you place an “A” at the end of OM to make the female OMA to get the word Ma out of it meaning Mother, which becomes Preahmae Uma, meaning the Divine Mother Uma, wife of the Divine An or OM. In old time Sanskrit the letter N and M were both nasalized as an NG. So there are older spellings of Sanskrit as “Sam.Skrit” which is actually pronounced as “Song-Skrut” in English. In those ancient times the Dravidians called the same primal nature Kumara meaning Boy. Sometimes this primal god is also called Sanat-Kumara, the Boy-God of Nature. His female counterpart is Kumari, meaning Girl. Orange is the color of Primal Nature, or Life, or the color of the Omkara, why? Because originally OM was the all creative cry or sound the Divine Sun, PreahAdit – The Divine Infinity – made thru which all physical creation “cymatically” come into existence. Adit means Sun in Khmer and Thai but comes from the Sanskrit word meaning That Which Is Without ((A)) Limit ((Diti)). When the Sun dies in the West it is an Orange color, and when the Sun reborns in the East in the morning, it is Yellow. Both Orange and yellow are associated with Shaivism and Buddhism. Both also call their religion or tradition The Sasana.
When Brahamism developed or came with their gods the name Shiva ((Rudra)) was gradually associated with both An and Kumara. Developed if you are Hindu and currently believe that the Aryan invasion never happened. Came if you go with the theory that a foreign people came into the Indus Valley civilization with their own foreign gods and foreign class system who ended up making the Natives lowly Shudras and Untouchables, then stole their ancient religion from them to make it Hindu. It’s debatable who used the name/word “Siva/Sava” first, but when the Brahmins came their feral god of the hunt Rudra became entwined with Siva and the older indigenous An/Kumara.
As a short side note, interestingly the name “Shiva” and any mention of veneration of his Linga is absent in the old Vedas. There is also no real sensible meaning of “Shiv” in Sanskrit. At some point when Brahmanism developed in India a Vedic adversarial deity named Rudra somehow became associated with Shiva. The word Rudra means Red ((One)). We can see it’s still visibly genetically related to the English word Red ((RUDr)). Why on earth I’ve always wondered did Rudra ever get merged with Shiva. Why Red? The Dravidians state that the god and word Shiva originates from their people and language. And they may be right. In Dravidian, the word for Red is actually Civa, pronounced Chiva. I haven’t done any real research into the actual ethno-etymological origins of the word “siv/shiv” yet. But my current guess as of now is that it may indeed have come from the Tamil/Dravidian language and indigenous tradition, and may have been annexed by proto-hinduism.
When you are aware of the color schemes behind the ancient background of Buddhism, then the robe colors used in Buddhism becomes slightly more understandable. In the old days the new school of Mahayana and the old school Hinayana ((theravada)) had a feud hundreds of years long. Which was when the Northern Buddhists called other old schools Hinayana meaning the Inferior Wagon, and they named their the Mahayana, meaning the Supreme Wagon. The colors come into subtly play because the Southern Buddhists wore Orange or deep Orange robes, which in ancient times represented the Death of the Sun in the West. So the Northerners in China wore Yellow colored robes to subtly suggest that their Buddhism is the Rebirth or Renewal of Buddhism as the Sun rises in the East in the morning. Thus, it is also suggested that the deep Orange color the Inferior Wagon used symbolized the actual Death of an old and outdated Vehicle.
The shramana also tried to make their early proto-buddhism and proto-jainism as shramanic as possible. One doctrine that evolved from the idea of Shram or facing the adversities of life came to be called Vibhajjavada which basically means to get your own ass out there and experiences shit for yourself. We’re told in Buddhist culture that in the early days the Buddha desired to call his Way just Vibhajjavaha, and his followers would be called Vibhajjavadin, but the term Theravada stuck.
The whole point is that since ancient times way before Buddhism was invented the idea of an Adversity of Life which teaches you about life if you fight and struggled with it, existed for as long as the shramana tradition has. Which some scholars say may go all the way back to the Indus Valley civilization.
When I started studying Myatt and his Philosophy of the Numen, I found an idea that for the first time in my life helped bridge the chasm between East and West in my mind. The idea was Pathei Mathos, thru Myatt meaning to Learn from Suffering and Adversity.
It looks like a small idea made up of only two words, and the concept beneath it seems easily overlooked, unlike a thousand pages of some thesis or spiritual writings. But sometimes the smallest things end up building very big thing. If you’ve ever built a house or help your cousins make an extension of a house in the back yard, then you’ll understand that little nails actually makes the big structure and holds the skeletal framework together. So when you are in the business of “building” memeplexes of great big sizes like I am, it’s the little memes like Pathei Mathos that I value because they hold the superstructure of the memeplex together like nails.
And so thru Myatt and his Numinous Way and ONA, I was able to bridge in my mind a big gap I had between my Eastern weltanschauung, and my Western mindscape. Pathei Mathos was this purely Western idea based on Greek stuff that was originally Western, but it fit perfectly as an add-on to this whole ancient idea of Adversity, Shram, shramana, dukkha, sambuddhi, and Vibhajjavada, by overtyly stating that it is is thru one’s personal suffering, struggles, against the Adversities of Life that one grows and learns.
It’s a statement put into words, but the essence is wordless. We know it is wordless and a phenomenon observable in Nature because animals – without language or Greek philosophy – also Naturally learn via the hard way leaning from experience, suffering, and adversity. I think the idea is genius in the sense that it puts into simple words something that naturally happened in such a way that a “mystery” in Nature is uncovered slightly. When you look under that lifted veil you slowly begin to realize that Mother Nature has build in a system of growth and progression, or evolution. One which is not based on words and books, but based on direct experience of life, struggling, striving, and learning from the Adversities of Life, as well as enjoying the pleasures of it. No teachers are needed… no doctrines… no religion… no “Gods.” Just organic life and the “school” of Nature.
But I still for the life of me could not drag the idea of Satan out of the West and into my Eastern mindscape. It still did not fit. I was personally preparing myself to admit defeat and come to an understanding that this Western idea of a “Satan” is so alien that it does not fit into an Oriental “universe.” I tried for many years to make it fit, but it doesn’t. I was ready to throw the idea of Satanism totally away because it may be worthless an idea to carry around. The last book I read on Satanism was “Postmodern Satanism,” by Jason King. I finished the book and at the time I was dwelling on why so much attention was paid to Crowley’s Book of the Law. I put the book down and left it at that to forever give up Satanism, which I had then deemed as being a failed experiment.
A while later at grandma’s house I asked one of my cousins who lives there during her school days with me how she was liking college since she was a Freshman. My cousin in angst complained about her being so worried because she was not pulling the grades she wanted and she had trouble understanding certain subjects, and was really worried about finals and not passing. I got worried too for her, so I offered to help and do her school work for her, and even sit in class with her to break lectured down for her.
Something about her sincere fret over failing her classes made me see colleges like life. I was thinking to my self that one night going to bed how college has this “adversarial current” built into it which makes you either struggle to become more than you are or fail. And that if you failed, it is your own fault. And that failure was born from not being able to struggle against that “current.” But I remember specifically using the two words “Adversarial Current.” Current as in Flow, as samsara is a flow. Adversary as in Shrama.
I suddenly recalled that I had gotten that meme from JK, his book Postmodern Satanism, and certain forum posts. Which was when a Big Click happened in my head. Like California and China suddenly crashed into each other and clicked finally into a single integrated landmass with no gaps or chasms in my mind. I had all the components floating around… the idea of shram… kampf… struggle… adversity… and so on. But sometimes it takes a little nail to stick everything together into a neat framework.
JK’s “nail” I got is a “small” idea made up of only two words, Adversarial and Current; but the underlying idea beneath it is a big wordless phenomenon I have seen or am aware of in Nature. Both Mother Nature and Father Time are ruthlessly devastating. All those dinosaurs went extinct because they couldn’t hang with the Flow of the Current. They failed. But the dinosaurs that became birds graduated to “The Next.”
All of a sudden “Satan” made sense to me. Satan really was a “force in Nature.” The living Force or Spirit of Evolution. Its not apparent. Like saying that the “force” in college which drives students to fail and go stupid is the force of progress and evolution… but it is. You earn your right to get to the next level by struggling against the very antaginistic system build into college. You prove yourself worthy to get to the “Next” by facing Life/Nature and its inherent Adversarial Current and take a beating. Like Life jumping you into a gang of winners. But that phenomenon is everywhere in Life. I remember when I was 5 or something learning how to ride a bike. My older boy cousin would hold the back of they bike I was on and they told me they’d hold it and run with me and not to worry and to just keep pedaling. They didn’t run with me. They laughed as I fell. But I wanted really bad to ride bikes like them, and they told me falling was the only way to learn. You fall once and knowing that falling doesn’t hurt, you aren’t afraid anymore to get hurt. Which was true. I had to struggle and fall… and fail a few times. But after the struggling against that invisible Current of Adversity, with a little determination, I learned a skill I did not have before. The Fruit of learning from Adversity is the Pathei Mathos. The Adversity itself as a phenomenon is Satan, the Adversary.
Satan in my mind now is like a drill instructor or my dad actually. He push you to struggle to do thing like all those long tedious evenings of doing math and homework and reading some book he picked to have me read. You cry and complain, and hate him for that time… but in the end you or I actually grew from that to be more than what I was, better than other kids my age in my class. There grew this sense of superiority from it in me, as I got older. In knowing that I can out think any boy in class. But that status or state of mind of being better than what you were, or better than others only came from struggling against that Current. There’s no other word or descriptor for but Current. It’s a Flow you feel pushing up against you everywhere in Life. That simple yet brilliant idea I got from Postmodern Satanism helped click everything into place in such a way that I now have this new Understanding of a Satanism… or how Satanism is to me.
It’s a simple and precise meaning – the Ism of Satan. Ism from the Greek -ismos means an Action, State, Condition, or Doctrine. Or from the Greek – isma which means an Act that is finished or done. Then Satan here simply meaning the Adversarial Phenomenon/Current of Nature or of the Casual.
So a Satan-ist is One Who Follow a Principle or System, or One Who Is The State, Condition, Action of Satan. Meaning one who either follows the principles of Adversity or one who is inside struggling against that Current head on. Ultimately for Pathei Mathos, or the Learning from the Adversarial Nature of existence.
But to me, a Satanist is not necessarily one who is opposed to or adversarial to anything or anyone. No more then a shramana is the enemy of some system or the adversary of some religion. You leave the sheltered comfort of a protective system behind to immerse yourself into Raw Life. A Satanist isn’t an adversary per se, you are one who puts yourself into the streets to get jumped into Life by Satan. A Satanist struggles with the Current, to evolve. If such acts of struggle and immersion into Raw Life calls for renunciation of State and Religion, then such things are abandoned. If something serves as a prison wall between you and Life and its Adversarial Current, then you make an “Exeat,” and as a part of your struggle start doing your Exeatics to free yourself.
Both of these concepts – Pathei Mathos as the Learning from Adversity and Suffering, and the Adversarial Current being Satan – makes it so that Satanism needs no preacher or written doctrine. Satan becomes a word/name for a phenomenon in Nature. And Pathei Mathos is the Method of learning and growing from it. The ancient shramanas did not have holy books or doctrines. It was just them, their bodies, submerged completely in Life, for thousands of years. And from their collective Pathei Mathos they were able to tear down Brahmanism in India by making or inventing better systems of philosophy and belief. The shramanas in the Vedas are describes as the black soot at the bottom of Brahma’s feet, because they were so despicable to the Brahmin Order that they didn’t even deserved to have come from a respectable part of Brahma’s Holy Body. After shramanic Jainism and Buddhism emerged, then the soot of Braham’s feet became a real ideological threat. And no rational Hindu today ((which is a rare creature)) can deny that Brahmanism in India collapsed giving way to Hinduism which is a weak rip off of and or reactive countermeasure to shramanic, Jain, and Buddhist thinking.
In that light, I do see a great value in Satanism in the West, if it is nurtured properly and allowed to further evolve. Because it still is an effective weapon against Christianity and Magian Ethos which is a disease to the West. This “fight” that Satanism was born in against some Christianity, has been fought before. It’s the same struggle between the shramana tradition(s) and Vedic Tradition. That old fight took hundreds of years. From that old fight shows some of us who are observant that you can’t always kill off a religion/memeplex. Because there are many stupid mundane people. The only way to destroy a religion/memeplex is to subvert it by gradually introducing memes that challenges or replaces enemy memes of your target religion or culture.
The Tao of Satan
I named this essay the Tao of Satanism. It was supposed to be a short essay. At face value I know the idea of the Effortless Flow of Tao and struggling with the Adversarial Current seems opposing and contradicting. It may also sound confusing. Because how do you let go and Flow with the effortless Tao and struggle against the Current.
Tao is before yin and yang. Before left and right. Before this and that. Tao is just the way that things are. And the Asian idea of “effortlessness” doesn’t mean what it means in English. In English Effortlessness means to let go and not try or not do anything. In Oriental thinking effortlessness and Harmony are the same concept. What’s it mean when I say, “Be in Harmony with the traffic?” Or to “Effortlessly move with traffic?” It doesn’t mean to stay still and not do anything. You’ll either get run over or just be in the way. It means to go with the Flow of the traffic… to keep up with the traffic… to go at the same speed as everyone else… to drive being mindful of how the other cars are moving. There is nothing inactive and ‘effortless’ about it. You move in Harmony with that Flow… that Current… or you get run over.
If there is a dry desert to the left and a lush green pasture to the right, live in harmony with the Tao and live on the lush pasture. If building houses on mountain slopes falls when hard rain comes, live in Harmony with that Tao and don’t build your towns on mountain slopes. If an island is sinking into the ocean, live in Harmony with that natural occurrence and don’t build a city on it. If the Mongols to the north are ignorant barbarians, live in tune to that Tao and don’t bug them. If monsoon season brings a lot of water, live in tune with that Nature and plant your rice patties then.
Effortlessness doesn’t mean to not try or simply stop doing. It means to dance with Tao. If it leads you follow. If it softens, you lead. But Tao is the natural way of things beyond yin and yang. Tao is neither good or bad. Constructive or Destructive. Tao just flows like the Yellow River, or the Ganges or Mekong. It will erode some land here, while fertilizing some there. It will flood some villages there, and bring a bounty of big fish here. Tao is like the ebb and flow of the tide. Pay attention to its movement and live in tune to it. Tao is like the Nile which floods and shrinks. Be mindful of its movement and dance with that Nile. Know when it floods. Know when to irrigate it. Know when to live close to it. Know when to live far from it. This is the meaning of being in Harmony to Tao… to Nature… to a River… to Others… to Life. It is the essence of the Taoist term “Path of Least Resistance.” Don’t resist the flooding of the Nile. You will drown. Dance with its movement, with its Current. It doesn’t mean to simply let go and give up as if the current will take you somewhere. It is a dance with the Way of Things… Dharma. It is a struggle to learn to be mindful of the movement of the Way of Things. The Way of Things is not always pleasant and easy.
The Way of Thing in college is not always easy and pleasant. But learn to Flow with the Tao effortlessly. When finals week comes, don’t resist its lead, let go and study. When a hurricane comes don’t resist and stay believing you can ride it out, go with the Flow and leave for safety. When war strikes and enemies invade, don’t resist that flow, let go and seek safety. When a relationship has gone bad, there is no more trust or real love, don’t hold on, let him go. When you learn to dance with the movement and Flow of Tao well, it looks effortless, and your relation with it seems in Harmony… in Synch… in Tandem, one with the other… At One With.
If the Way of Things is Adversarial in Nature, then that is just how Tao is.. just the Way Things Are. Then it is with this Adversarial Current that we dance with. Knowing when to lead and when to be lead. When to let go and when to hold on. When to give and when to take. Struggle is not the right word to use. There is no struggle in a relationship, no resistance. You experience something. You are a part of something. It may turn bad. It may hurt. Let go, and learn from it. But embedded in that relationship gone bad is the Adversarial Essence which we dance with in Harmony to. We end up calling that experience, the heartache, the crying, and the hurt a struggle to learn our lesson. But there was no literal striving as Sysiphus struggles effortfully. Kampf may be a better word to capture the essence. My Struggle as in my Pain… my Suffering… my Dukkha… my Hardship… my Shram… from which experience of I learned and became more than I was.
Life isn’t something that is independent of its phenomena. You can’t have a river without its current and flow. A rainbow does not exist without its 7 colors. An Adversarial Phenomenon in Life is not a separate thing from Life or the Way Life happens. It is Life and the Way Things work. Using the English word “Fight” to describe Life, and then trying to superimpose Englishified Taoist concepts like Letting Go is confusing at face value. But if you know Life, you’ll understand that Life and Adversity is the same thing.
We’re born literally struggling till death. Life is Adversarial in Nature. If you do not struggle you die. Life takes our childhood away from us forever. It takes our loves ones away from us forever. It takes our youth from us and gives us old age. It takes our health and beauty from us and gives us wrinkles, bad eye sight, and the physical complications of old age. Then we die, and that death of ours is an Adversity which causes those we left behind to cry. But that Adverse Life flows with or without you. You either chose to Flow with that Adversarial Current or cut your wrists and be a suicide statistic. We can choose to learn to dance with that Adversarial Nature of Life, or kill ourselves. If you choose to stick with the Game, then not only are you fighting and struggling, but your also Going with the Flow of Life and its inherent Adversarial Current. It’s not confusing or a contradiction. Like rafting White Rapids. Not only are you going with the Flow, but you’re also fighting and struggling to stay alive and safe. The Way of the Flow of that white rapid is not always tranquil and pleasant.
If you choose to climb the corporate ladder, you put yourself into the Corporate Adversarial Flow to earn your position and pay, but in that act of being inside that adversarial condition, you not only go with that Adverse Flow, but you struggle and fight too. Otherwise remove yourself from the Game. If you choose to live as a mafioso, then you know your life style is Adversarial to its core because at any moment you can go to federal prison, cause suffering to your wife and kids, and loose your freedom. But if it is your chosen life style and profession, you are Flowing with that Adversarial Current as well as struggling to win the Game. Same thing with being in the military. Getting shot at in the battlefield isn’t a piknik, that life style is Adversarial to its core. If you you jump into that Game, you Flow with its Adverse Nature and learn from it from your Pathei Mathos. In our human past, the Warriors of a tribe that survived the Game, become the wise tribal Elders.
That’s like the “Gift of Satan.” In the old days putting yourself into an army mean you earned booty meaning both war booty and native girl booty. Play the Game good enough and you end up an Alexander the Great of a Genghis Khan with absolute wealth, absolute power, a mass of people to rule over and harems of eunuchs, boys, and girls in the kingdom up to your eyeballs. Struggle in the Adverse Flow of bankruptcy and a billion dollar debt right like Donald Trump did and not only do you make enough money to get out of bankruptcy but you top yourself and make a billion more to be a billionaire again. Us normal mortals cry and bitch when we’re in debt of l000 of credit, and we can’t get out. Some even kill themselves. That’s failure. That’s the little fractal adverse current of finances owning your ass because you couldn’t hang ten.
I have a friend named Frank who always talked about joining the Marines and being a tough guy when he was in high school. He did when he graduated… then 8 months later he was back home. I asked him what happened. He said he couldn’t take it because it’s not what he thought it would be like, and he cried like a bitch and pretended to be insane for a few months and got the military psychologist to let him go home. I was thinking to myself, Damn poor Frank, it must be tough out there on the battlefield! I asked him, “So what, did they put you in the middle of the Afghan-Paki boarder and make you kill 9 year old Taliban kids or something? What did they make you do that was so bad that you had to pretend to be crazy and cry your ass home?” He didn’t answer me and laughed and tried to change the subject. So I asked him a second time what exactly he was doing after boot camp in the Marines as in his duties. He hesitated and finally said, “I was a cook.” That’s failure. Frank got pwned by the Adversarial Way of military life.
Like gang banging is Adversarial to its very core as a way of life. I hear these punk bitches in Mundane Satanism talk a lot of shit about survival of the fittest… law of the jungle… dog eat dog… might is right and all that. Put your ass into the ghettos for a year and survive that shit while gang banging and show me you walk the fucking talk. Join a gang and bang a tour of duty in the hood for 3 years and show and prove that you can survive the Fittest on the streets, like you a dog that eats people like you say. Go to a prison in California or New York and come out a year later still an ass virgin and show me you a Dog and ain’t no man’s bitch. Live that life style your whole life cuz its what you grew into and come out a Veterano or OOOG and show me for reals you can you walk the talk of survival of the fittest. If you don’t know what a Triple-O G is than you toying with gangs. But if that’s the life style you chose to live, then you Flow with that Adversarial Nature of the life style of bang. And it’s a fight and struggle. Any body who banged or has cousins who banged knows its a 24/7 job and a fight to survive. But if you play the Game well, and you learn to dance with that Adversarial Current of that life style, you are rewarded with power, money, and sex. You say a name and the dude is dead the next day and some bitch banger goes to prison for it. You make a million a day doing shit cuz you got bitch bangers slanging dope and counter surveillance tech for you who go to jail for you and kill for you. That’s a Win. That’s the Gift of Satan.
Your passion for girls burns hard enough and it’ll inspire you to do everything you can do to manifest that goal. That passion will drive you to spend money on a gym membership, work out 5 days a week, eat pancakes 4 times a day to buff up. It’s a struggle to actualize that end goal. There is an adversarial charge to that process that causes you to struggle which you Flow to in Harmony. If you stick to it and meet your goal, Flow with that Current, in the end you’ll get your Gift of Satan as you have earned. Fail and you’re a loser at that Game. Going thru that process and experience is Pathei Mathos. You learn from your experience, suffering, and struggle against that Adverse Essence. You end up with wisdom about that life style which you cannot get from a book. You’re not really fighting the “Current.” You put yourself fully into its Raw Flow and dance with it.
I took weight training class once in high school because I had girl friends who said it was an easy pass since the coach doesn’t expect much from girls. So me and two of my girl friends did take weight training and there were only 4 girls in the whole class. Everyone else were guys. Our coach was actually really chill. He just told us himself, “Girl, just look busy and don’t let me catch you not doing anything.” So for the whole period we’d just talk and gossip while twisting and twirling a 5 pound weight thing. It was fun. But this one time I was watching a guy friend we made bench pressing that bar with the very big round black weights on each end and he made it look really easy. So I was thinking to myself, Dude, I can do this how heavy can those round things be. So I asked our guy friend if I can try. He kindly analyzed my 5’2′ 97lb Asian body and said, “Hmm ok how about we start you off with just the bar.” I my mine I was like, Pssh the bar, what is that like 10 pound. I laid on the bench with our guy friend spotting me and lifted the bar off of its prongs. It didn’t feel heavy when my elbows where locked. It was a strain bringing it down because I was trying to make it not fall and kill me. Then when the bar touched my neck it got stuck cuz it was actually to heavy for me to lift back up. I was screaming for help while my spotter was laughing his ass off with everybody else and the coach. The coach came and lifted one side of the bar up and I never bench pressed again. I might not have reaped a reward from that class but I learn a valuable lesson – metal is heavier than it looks.
The Tao of Satan is suppose is first learning to recognize the phenomenon we would refer to as Satan in Nature. Once we have a knowledgeable grasp of what this Satan is we Harmonize our own life to its Flow and dance with it. Not really fighting it or struggling with it. But immersing ourselves into its Raw Flow of Reality and take the experience we get from it as is one at a time. Then from our direct experience we develop a Wisdom for the Way this ‘Current’ works. So that we end up with either personal gnosis and/or physical end results that benefits us.
Just because the word “Adversarial” is tossed around does not mean that being a “Satanist” means to be adversarial to someone or something. A “Satan-Ist” is just One Who Flows with Satan or with what Satan is or represents. That’s like the superficial meaning of “Satanist” to me. There is a deeper more “esoteric” side to the idea of Satan, if we agree that it is the “Adversarial Current” of Life or Nature or Cosmos. Because you cannot separate the process we call Life from the Nature such process is transpiring in, and we cannot separate that very process of Nature from the Cosmos it is happening in. Like we really cannot separate our Process of thinking from the bodily environment that Process is happening inside of. Without a brain, blood, heart, guts, lungs, there is no Cogito Ergo Sum. It is the other way around – Sum, Ergo Cogito. I AM, therefore I think. But to get to the Condition or State of Sum – I AM – take an entire living systematic Process. Which Process cannot be separated from the system manifesting the Process in the very first place. The “phenomenon” of thinking and the Body are in fact the “same” thing, or different manifestations of the same systematic field/entity. In other words, our thoughts are not only the process of something “living”but it is “living” because it is a manifestation of the field of life we are. There is no real division or boundary between one and the other. A field has no discernible division. The lines we see drawn into pictures of magnetic fields are reifications. Just like there is no real difference between waves, the ocean, and the many undercurrents of an ocean. It is all a single field in the process of motion.
Maybe “Process” and “thinking” are not right to use here. I’m thinking of Condition that is inherent to something. Like Awareness is an inherent condition in us. It’s not reasonably possible to separate the Condition of Awareness from That Which Is Aware.
So if – IF – we say or agree that “Satan” is the Adversarial Current of Life, meaning an inherent Condition of Life, then the two cannot be separate “things.” And we understand that the essential Quality or Nature of what we are trying to intimate with the word “Adversarial” is indeed a Condition all life forms seem to come into existence with. From the lowly half dead virus to the metalife form of the Earth’s ecosystem. All life experiences or comes with an inherent Condition or exists in an inherent State of “adversity.” Ecosystems are as dynamic as living bodies. They are as responsive and reactive as organisms. They are just as adaptive to the environment as a species is. Ecosystems also experience their own ecological adversities.
It is as if every lifeform in the spectrum of Life comes into existence with the Condition of adversity or fixed to an “Adversarial Current.” It’s not like we’re saying that all life comes into the existence with the phenomenon of Gravity. It’s a little different. Can we thus rationally separate the Condition of Adversity from that which is Adverse? If we agree that Life is “Alive” and that such Life as a collective field “Aliveness” is Adverse in Nature, then what does that suggest about the Nature of the Adversarial Current… of Satan? Is in an approximate descriptor we use t try to describe an aspect of Nature or quality or character of something Living?
But as a Buddhist, this is as far as I will go. Speculating and contemplating on the Nature and Reality of God or a god is one of the 10 concepts the Buddha was against talking or thinking about. In Mahayana they have 4 extra no-no concepts of question one should not lose oneself in. They call it the 14 Unanswerable Questions. Which is one thing I can really respect about any school of Buddhism is that it honestly tells you that it doesn’t really know shit and that its not willing to leave the rational realm for speculative answers to speculative questions no one will ever know the right answers to.
Taoism has a similar idea – “The Tao that can be Taoed is not the true Tao.” Meaning the Tao is beyond intellectual grasping and reason. What we think it is which we may speak of or think of or write about is NOT the actual Isness of Tao. Intellect and reason has its causal limits. It’s preposterous to think that a three pound brain that must break vast distance into inches and light years, and vast lengths of time into centuries and hours can think that it has an understanding of the Cosmos and Tao because of some numbers it tweaks on a chalk board or some manuscript it has read written by another brain no bigger or powerful then it. Whatever Tao is or God is or Satan is or Brahma is or IT is, it is is felt and experienced wordlessly and thoughtlessly. The Tao that is named is not the True Tao, but you can Feel/Empath it, and live in Harmony with its Flow.
Buddhism also hints at this. God is one of those no-no question not to be wasted over, because you can never really know it intellectually. It is beyond the intellect and reason. But the story or allegory goes that one day as the Budda was sitting with his 5 disciples three questioners came to ask the Buddha if God exists. The first on was a Theist and he asked Buddha if God exists. Buddhas says “sure.” The second guy was an atheist and asked Buddha if God exists, and Buddha said “Nah.” The third guy greeted Buddha asked the same question, and sat in silent deep meditation for a while, and the Buddha returned by being silent. The third guy thanks Buddha and leaves. When the three guys left his 5 disciples asked Buddha what they should then believe because he told the first guy that God exists, the second that God doesn’t not exist, and the third wasn’t even given an answer.
The Buddha answers to his disciples, Who really knows? It’s not the point. The point is if those three guys need such belief or non belief to get them to Sambuddhi – Self-realization – then it is an expedient method. So I told the first guy what he needed to hear to keep him searching for Dhamma. I told the second guy what he wanted to hear to keep him also searching for Dhamma. I didn’t say anything to the third guy because he knew that silence is the only thing that can be said of this matter. Then Taoism has a similar admonishment – “He who speaks does not know, He who knows does not speak.” We can barely understand and intellectualize Love. We humans have a real hard time defining what exactly constitutes “Life” and a “Living Thing.” And we want to fool ourselves into believing that our same selves can fully have an understanding of the reality of God? Such things are felt and experienced wordlessly and silently. Like the Koran and Sufis say – The Eye of the Heart is what Sees Allah. Or as the Buddhists texts say – The Dharma Eye Sees Dharma. Not the Human Eye.
Closing
I really don’t know know what I’m talking about. This was just my typing out what comes to mind. I was just thinking about something I wrote earlier over at our Tumblr. It reminded me of a few things. Of my own little Quest in the West. Of finding an often overlooked and misunderstood memeplex called Satanism. Of how I was curious enough long ago to give it a try and see what it was really about beyond the chatter of public opinion. Of my inability to fit the idea of Satan into my native mindscape. And of finally figuring out how it all ends up fitting together because of little pieces of insights I collected from others.
It’s perhaps weird that a person can be a Buddhist and a Satanist at the same time. It’s confusing if you don’t understand either as what they are. Is Buddhism a worship of a god? No. Is it a system of morals codes to be followed to get to heaven? No. Is Buddhism a religion? No it is a Sasana. A sasana is a set of instructions to be followed. The US Constitution is a sasana. You put the shit into practice, you get the intended results. That Constitution is not a philosophy, not a religion, not a relationship with a god, not a moralist doctrine. It’s just a culture/sasana of doing things and seeing things. What I do and how I see things has nothing t do with Satanist or a philosophy I may find useful, or the close I wear. Or the friends I have. Or anything. But Satanism is also a way of doing and seeing.
What exactly are the two memeplexes doing and seeing? They do the Same Life, and they try to See the same arena of human experience. To me – as I understand things myself – the Essence beneath the two outer forms is the same thing. It’s just that Buddhism developed thru the Mind of the East and satanism developed thru the Mind of the West. Both sets of Mind are looking at the same thing… what other Thing is there really to be looking at in context to Natural Philosophy and Phenomena? If not the same whole Thing?
Like the little Mexican boy and my little cousin I asked about God. Two Minds from two different “Worlds” see and express the same “thing” according to their own people’s ancient weltanschauung. But I am smart enough to know that what those 3 year olds say God is which’ sounds or is so different; is the same thing just process thru different unique living Minds. My desire – because I am both East and West, both Asian and American – is to try and integrate my internal system into one whole functioning system. On my journey to self integration I bump to insightful people who have a missing piece to my “puzzle.” I graciously take those pieces, pay my respects to where they are due. And move on. And as I move on, I may write long blogs, in the hope that maybe somewhere in my long essay is a missing piece to somebody’s puzzle. Leave one and take one. I don’t have all the answers to anything. In fact, I need to integrate my mindspace and work things into place ever before I can really come up with answers to anything thing. If I do write, it’s just me thinking out loud and sharing ideas with a blog, and my little group of friends, cousins, associates, and people who randomly read what I write I guess. I really don’t know who reads our blog or why. All I know is that in a couple days we’re hitting our 100,000 hit mark!!!! Yeah Bitch!
Shugz 352
Order of Nine Angles
122yf
